Zatz Not Funny!

Upcoming TiVo IP-STB Christened "Mini"

TiVo’s upcoming IP-STB has been been christened as the “TiVo Mini.” This wasn’t entirely unexpected, as I’d learned of it being referenced as such internally and believe it’s popped up at a TiVo investor or industry talk recently. It’s probably not TiVo’s best branding move to describe their DVR-less extender, but the kangaroo-centric Hopper and Joey are spoken … Read more

Satire: The Apple TV Pro “Cable Box”

ZNF regular Chucky shares some satircally exclusive details regarding rumors that Apple has pitched the cable industry…

In a stunning anouncement, Apple has reached a deal this morning with almost all US major MSO’s to offer cable service via the magical new Apple TV Pro.

All cable billing for the Apple TV Pro will take place through iTunes Billing, with Apple taking their god-given 30% tax off the top, and an ‘Expanded Basic’ sub priced at $220/month, and HBO at $80/month for consumers.

Eddy Cue of Apple was quoted as saying, “We decided to way to get the MSO’s to get past their iTunes billing objections was to stuff their mouths with gold”.

Brian Roberts, CEO of Comcast, was quoted as saying, “That Tim Cook really understands supply chains. This is a great deal for…” Roberts attempted to continue his statement, but collapsed in uncontrollable laughter.

The magical Apple TV Pro will feature live cable TV, AirPlay, and Siri, but no DVR. Tim Cook was quoted as saying, “We think we have the cash to run saturation Sam Jackson and Zooey Deschanel ads to get folks beyond their irrational attachment to the DVR.”

developing…

FCC Says Price of “Expanded Basic” TV up 5.4%

The FCC yesterday released its latest pricing data on pay-TV services. In the twelve months leading up to January 1, 2011, the average cost for “expanded basic” service increased 5.4% across the country to $57.46 per month. The price for expanded basic service is defined as “the combined price of basic service and the most subscribed cable programming service tier excluding taxes, fees and equipment.” Oddly, however, the FCC also points out that average costs increased slightly more in competitive communities than they did in non-competitive communities. The difference was 5.7% to an average monthly cost of $58.47 in competitive communities versus 5.2% to an average monthly cost of $56.82 in non-competitive communities.

The findings here are highly counter-intuitive. Why would pay-TV service cost more in communities with reasonable service provider competition?

There’s no simple answer to that question, but there are a few critical things to point out about the FCC data. First, the FCC isn’t including equipment fees in these numbers.

Louboutin's Geek Chic Microchip Shoes

Geek chic with a healthy amount of disposable income? Christian Louboutin has you covered with these (new?) Lady Peep Geek Embroidered Pumps: From the description: Embroidered with microchip-inspired patterning, numbers, and sequins, a satin upper boasts eye-catching shine balanced with texture. In addition to a distinctively sexy aesthetic, Christian Louboutin shoes are also instantly recognizable for … Read more

Kevin Tofel Inspires Apple To Build Smaller iPad

kevin-tablet

As you’ve probably heard, Apple and Samsung are going at it via a variety of legal challenges across the globe. And, while litigation generally bores me, I was pretty stoked to discover my buddy Kevin Tofel cited in evidence.

Kevin’s the biggest 7″ tablet evangelist I know. In fact, he recently penned an article declaring small tablets will replace smartphones… and believes it. While I have my doubts, Kevin routinely carries a 7″ tablet with him — here I am holding his Nexus 7 loaner while we wandered around Vegas last month and he recently “called” me from his yard, given the video, from another tab using Google Chat.

So it’s amazingly acknowledging to see Apple execs literally sharing Kevin’s interest in this particular form factor as you can see from the email (below) that Eddie Cue sent to Tim Cook, Scott Forstall, and Phil Schiller.

SlingPlayer Headed To Gaming Consoles?

EchoStar’s Sling Media is out with a survey today testing the waters for console-based placeshifting. While the SlingCatcher is dead and buried, SlingPlayer for Connected Devices has been slowly bringing Slingbox feeds to various set-top devices including Google TV, WDTV Live, and Boxee. Next up, your Xbox, Wii, or PS3? From the emailed survey (pictured below):

In this section, we’re trying to gauge your interest in using SlingPlayer on your game console. Imagine if you could watch your Slingbox in full HD on your big screen TV using your game console. Essentially, you could enjoy everything on your main TV but you would use your gaming device. In other words, you could:

Watch all your live TV, DVR recordings & On-demand content
Control everything using your game console controller
With a picture quality comparable to your normal TV experience

A big advantage is that you would NOT PAY for another cable or satellite set top box. A couple of situations where you can enjoy this are:

A vacation home
A 2nd bedroom, recreation room, or basement
College student’s apt or dorm
Replace any set top box

While the proposition is appealing, I’m not sure a game console is the most efficient platform for delivery… for Sling or for us. Assuming our Slingboxes will never stream content to Apple TV, Roku is an ideal platform if Sling can work out the technical challenges — it’s small and cheap, with an open SDK and much greater penetration than say the WDTV Live Sling currently supports. How much would an app like that be worth to you?

TiVo Preps New Four Tuner "Premiere 4"

TiVo’s retail line of DVRs will gain a new new hardware SKU in the coming weeks, expanding the Premiere family to four units of varying hard drive capacity and tuner count. And it’s a move that suddenly sheds light on TiVo’s recent rebranding of the TiVo Premiere Elite to the TiVo Premiere XL4. The new … Read more

Now Playing: Usain Bolt in Ultra-HD

Super Hi-Vision Ultra-HD 8K camera

Comcast and NBC Universal hosted an Ultra-HD screening of several Olympic sporting events tonight in a nondescript office building not far from Washington D.C.’s Union Station. The second of its kind, tonight’s showcase included women’s swimming, women’s track and field, and the men’s 100-meter dash where Usain Bolt once again earned the title on Sunday night of world’s fastest man. The Ultra-HD video in the Comcast facility streams at 16 times the resolution of a typical high-definition television broadcast. And it was sharp enough tonight to allow those of us in the audience to identify the man who famously threw a beer bottle from the crowd on to the track at the start of Usain’s race.

The Ultra-HD video experience comes by way of a partnership including Comcast, NHK out of Japan, and the BBC. It’s branded as Super Hi-Vision, but the technology is also known more colloquially as 8K HD. There were 4K-resolution streams shown off at CES last January, and at the Cable Show in May, and you can even find limited 4K HD content on YouTube. However, there’s no other place in North or South America where 8K HD viewing is possible. Outside of Washington D.C., you have to go to the U.K. or Japan to see Ultra-HD.

So, is it worth it?