Atari’s Greatest Hits for the iPad Not So Great

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Atari is perhaps one of the most nostalgic brands out of the 1970s and 80s, but just because something was good thirty years ago doesn’t mean it holds up well in the present. In a fit of enthusiasm, I purchased the entire Atari’s Greatest Hits game pack for the iPad this week and set about testing old games from my childhood. On the plus side, the game controls translate reasonably well to the touch screen. On the minus side, many of the titles I remember so well – Frogger, Qbert, Pitfall – are not included in the pack. And the ones that are included? Most of them are downright terrible.

Here’s a quick breakdown of the Atari selections. Broadly speaking, the categories cover racing games, battles (usually in space), sports, quests, and word and brain games. The racing games don’t give you much control over your vehicle, something I remember from the joystick versions as well. The orchestrated battles like Asteroids are okay, but simplistic. The sports and quest games are so limited in functionality, that even progressing through levels or matches isn’t very rewarding. And the word and brain games, which shouldn’t be difficult to carry over to a new platform, are unbearably slow because of functions like having to cycle through the alphabet to choose a single letter.

Of all the games I tried, the only ones I really enjoyed were Centipede and Pong. Both are simple to play, and don’t suffer from the lack of a sophisticated UI. They’re also fast-paced enough to be addictive, at least for a little while.

Bottom line: If you’re going for a retro kick, download the free Atari app (Pong is included), and then pick a game or two at the 99-cent rate. Don’t buy the whole package unless you’re really dying to move stick figures or pixel-art spaceships around on a touch screen. Save your money instead and pick up one of a gazillion other, better game apps available on iTunes.

9 thoughts on “Atari’s Greatest Hits for the iPad Not So Great”

  2. Oh come on … Clearly you don’t remember how bad that stuff looked on a 20″ TV screen 35 years ago.

    The games aren’t any worse. Your expectations are just so much higher. Doesn’t mean I plan to buy them. I played a little pong on my son’s new iPad2, and that was more than enough nostalgia for me.

  3. Oh, I agree. It’s sort of like when I visited my old elementary school and it so much smaller than I recall. Our perspective (and size) changes over time. By the way, the last time I saw a “real” Atari was in Jen’s parents basement with Dan like ten years ago. But I am sorry Mari blew 15 bucks. We purchased about the same time when it launched Thursday, but I figured I’d just try the 99 cent Adventure pack… assuming the worst. ;) Dragon’s Lair probably holds up better (and cost a pretty penny back in the day), but back to Tiny Wings!

  4. “Oh come on … Clearly you don’t remember how bad that stuff looked on a 20″ TV screen 35 years ago.”

    The home systems may have looked awful, but the dedicated arcade consoles that used vector graphics looked great.

    The original arcade Asteroids, for example, not only played like a dream, but it looked absolutely beautiful.

    —–

    All of this stuff is just a bit of harmless nostalgia fun. Console function dictates gameplay, so translations to consoles with radically different function never have particularly good gameplay after the nostalgia wears off…

  5. Oh, forgot to mention something I am legitimately disappointed with. The instruction manuals for Adventure and Haunted House were scanned from the originals (which didn’t age well) – it’s kinda cute and nostalgic at first, but the screen doesn’t rotate for landscape view and when you zoom in it’s pretty much illegible. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do in Haunted House.

  7. “I have no idea what I’m supposed to do in Haunted House.”

    Be very, very scared.

    And keep an eye out for Scooby-Doo.

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